There are many ways of dealing with cheating spouse and the best method is to work at yourself, because after being cheated on, you may end up losing some self-esteem as you keep questioning your self-worth. Not only do you feel like your marriage has been violated, but you may start entertaining thoughts that you are to blame. Trusting your partner may not come automatically.
There is nothing wrong with that because your spouse needs to earn your trust back. What is pertinent is that you should stop beating yourself up about the infidelity. You need to work through the self-doubt and reclaim your self-esteem.
Once a cheating spouse has been caught, you tend to think about the situation repeatedly in your head, turning and twisting to get the answers that elude you. You need to track the conversations that you are having in your head. Keep a record of what these conversations constitute of. This can be done in a journal. This way you will see exactly how your thought process is working.
Never consider the other woman to be better than you. Your mind may have built her up to be prettier than you, smarter than you even more fun than you. You need to get rid of these misconceptions. Remind yourself that she was involved with a married man. Tell yourself that it is quite possible that is because she cannot get a man of her own.
Make up your own image of the other woman. After establishing that she is by no means better than you, make up your own image of her. You should let your imagination run free. At the end of it all, you are doing this to make yourself feel better. So take whatever creative idea you deem fit. You can make her have all the ailments you could think possible. You could decide she is more deformed than a broomstick put through a garbage dispenser. At the end of it all, it should cement the thought that she is not better than you. In any case, she could be worse.
Remind yourself of what a wonderful person you are. You have to be your number one fan. Make a list of all the compliments you have ever received in your lifetime. You may not remember all of them at one go but every time you do, make sure you jot it down.
Also, make a list of all the things you are good at. This could range from cooking to even singing karaoke. It does not matter. All these will help in affirming that you indeed are a beautiful person inside and out. After making these lists, you should also make a list of positive affirmations that you should be telling yourself daily. When you repeat something often enough, it becomes your truth.
Tell yourself how smart you are every day. Tell yourself how beautiful you are every day. Do this in front of a mirror so that it feels like you truly are addressing yourself. With time, the affirmations will give you a positive attitude concerning yourself.