There are many husbands who have not started to physically cheat on their wives but the signs of emotional adultery are already showing. “I waited for my husband to go to the shower and then went through the phone that he uses for work. This is my first time doing this because recently he has been receiving numerous text messages and the phone even buzzes on weekends and the evenings.
There is something which made me feel that the frequency was not as a result of increased work and my husband had not even mentioned anything about work related issues. After checking the text messages, I discovered that the name of one woman kept on appearing. I read some of the messages and they had nothing related to his work. I decided to confront him but he tried to lay blame on me for looking into his phone.
He got angry and told me that the woman was just an individual who listened and this is something that he no longer did. He swore that their relationship is not physical but I am not sure. Her messages indicated that the interest she had is more than just being friendly and if they have not become physical it might just happen.”
This is a confession by Sarah but she is not alone in going through the phone of her husband to check call records, text messages or emails.
New technology comes with new challenges. It also gives opportunities to spouses to engage in emotional adultery or cheat on their spouses. After finding some signs of emotional adultery like your husband having a close relationship with other woman and it has developed to something more than friendship, you will experience some of these reactions:
1. Guilt- By going through the phone of your husband, you may feel guilty of invading
2. Sadness- It makes you sad when you find out that your husband is emotionally connected to another woman.
3. Anger- Since your husband seems to be putting more effort in building another relationship, you will feel angry as he should have directed those efforts to your marriage.
4. Neglect- This results from the strain in your relationship and the only things you share is only about the responsibilities or information that is boring
5. Defensive- The defensive mode is aimed at justifying your action of going through the private messages or emails of your spouse.
If your husband is having a personal relationship with another woman, it is a sure sign of emotional adultery. This in turn makes the intimacy that you should be having in your marriage to be diluted when you share intimate thoughts with someone you are also emotionally involved. Emotional connection is fundamental in marriage and when your husband seeks it elsewhere, this is definitely cheating.